Musings from the Darkroom: Does this thing shoot far?

My most favorite example of geographical dialect confusion comes from Chilton County, Alabama.  A co-worker of mine in Birmingham who lived south of the city on a large farm in rural Chilton County was birthday present shopping for her little brother at the local Walmart in the county seat, Clanton.  In the toy section, she closely examined all the various models of super soaker water guns with which a young boy could ever hope to terrorize his sisters.  Pumping the action of the magnum version, she asked the woman working toys, “does this thing shoot far?”  To which the astonished employee responded, “Oh NO MA’AM, it just shoots WATER!”

Math Problems

On leaving piano festival this week with my 9-year-old daughter, in which she received all superiors and swung her little patootie off on her blues piece thank you, I overheard as she muttered out loud “Geez, there are math problems everywhere.  Now we have to solve them on trucks!?!”

Only in Louisiana: Home of the Drive-thru Daiquiri

Yes, frozen libations without ever having to leave the comfort and convenience of your automobile and public roadways.  Try the new hand grenade daiquiri, it’s sure to get you home safely!

Don’t forget to inquire about the hand painted velour wall hangings of your favorite sporting creature, but “Please” don’t delay the transaction; for quick and convenient service, have I.D.  And, keep it convenient for the ride home just in case you get stopped for driving with a frozen alcoholic beverage.  “But officer, it had a straw in it when they sold it to me.  You mean I wasn’t supposed to take the paper off the tip of the straw until I got home!?!”